Thank God I’m in a place where I have FINALLY let go of two of the heaviest bags I have ever carried.
The sad truth is that I never had to, I should have dropped them long ago. The embarrassing truth is that I had my answer years ago. Unfortunately an over whelming, unexplainable sense of unmerited loyalty, guilt, and not trusting God kept me in this place.
I guess I was hoping things would just get better or that someone other than me would get tired and let go. But that’s not how it works. That’s not how any of this works, lol. To be completely transparent my breakthrough came when I activated my faith by finally standing on God’s promises, and begin to act in a manner that was according to His will.
We have to be able to stand up for ourselves and stick to our boundaries even if it means not getting what we want most. I struggled with that. I REALLY wanted it. I didn’t want to be the reason it didn’t work, or the one to “give up”.
Newsflash:: In real life…. no one cares doll. Your true friends & family love you and just want you to be ok.
Unlike the children of Israel to whom it took 40 years to make a trip that should have taken just days, I’ve learned my lesson. I’ve inherited peace as I wait patiently for the land! However, here are a few things this forever long season taught me:
1.) LISTEN to my inner voice. That’s the discerning spirit I prayed for, trust it!
2.) If I begin to feel anxiety in any way, then this is not the situation for me, or the answer is no.
3.) I can not take on anyone else problems.
4.) Always protect myself and my interests.
5.) Don’t overlook the small things, they are super important.
6.) The courting phase should be the best part. If it sucks or has conditions, it’s not going to get any better than that. Move on!
7.) Stay grounded and in tune with my relationship with God.
At the end of a very long process… hindsight is always 20/20. I can’t undo the journey, but I can make sure I never forget my lessons. But most importantly….. I’ll keep pressing towards the mark!