It’s so easy to fall into a pattern of over apologizing. As I think about it, for me, this habit developed from years and years of consumer facing customer service jobs. It was part of the process to deescalate the problem. You apologize- deescalate the issue, then solve the problem. Well what happens when you move on in your career? or move on in life? You apologize, yes?
“I’m sorry babe, I should have been more understanding”
“I’m sorry to catch you off guard but……..”
“Please forgive me but….”
Here I am 4 years into my dream professional career and well into my 30’s and I still apologize. *Insert eye roll* Sometimes I don’t even think about it, it just comes out.
Well this week I’ve found myself in two situations at work where I had to speak to someone about behavior that was unacceptable to me. In these instances I was too upset to apologize, but afterwards I felt bad. I immediately wanted to go back and apologize.
In that moment I had to stop and reassure myself, it’s ok to feel the way I felt. It was a legitimate issue and I have the right to speak up for myself. Guess what?… Not 1 apology was given!
This experience made me consider my personal relationships as well. The freedom from speaking my piece and not apologizing is refreshing. I’m excited to say, after a lifetime of apologizing to defuse the situation, apologizing to be polite, and apologizing to soften the blow…. I’m done over apologizing.